For Erick...

i know the feeling

when something precious is taken away from

without us doing anything wrong

either to the beloved

or to the hated

i had a siamese cat

his name was “Shiro”

who loved to run around and biting people

and i loved letting him do just that

going back home is good

not only because of my parents

i have him and the other cat

same old Hitam (black)

waiting for me, home

Shiro was poisoned

and he fell sick for several days

and i watched him the whole time

each time

trying to harden my heart

trying to accept the fact he’s beyond treatment

trying to look at him for i dont know when will be the last

the night he died

i couldn’t cry

my sister did

my mother did

my father buried him

refraining from crying

while i watched

whilst revenge burnt inside me

alas

i can’t really do anything

if the person is smaller

i’d stepped on him

and enjoy the sight of him smashed

because nothing

NOTHING

he went through

can compare to the pain Shiro

had in his short life

while Hitam

is still here

still meowing

still eating

but it had been a long time’

that he live in this world

and sometimes

i ponder what would become of us

if we lost him too