anything to say? :3

Friday, May 27, 2011

eki is so kind!

she's giving away a domo-kun

cute little bag with

even cuter things inside!



anyone can be the lucky winner!

just follow the instruction

but beware

luck just may be on MY side



give it a try!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

queen of self-love

she's someone who would say
whatever she want to say
without crossing the border 
of finite stupidity

she would sleep with her mind
wander among the starlit sky
seeking for just one more way
to change tomorrow from today

she would present melodies
with true words like charms
that works everytime for people
who are still lost in the world too big

she would 
and should
and will had been
and was
and is
and always will be 
the queen of self-love 
i couldn't possibly not love


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

won't it be better, dear

for you to
be honest and
let my love
lies somewhere along the road
of this life
in midst of winter

than for you taking it
and manipulate it
and leaving it
somewhere along the 
scattered roses
and wasted tears
in messy summer rain?

Friday, May 20, 2011

plain stupidity

if you intend to enter a vote-based competition
at least you can make your blog public
it's like voting for american idol
without listening to the candidates singing

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

aww. cuuuute!

ha. i wish it's THAT easy to shut them up

through we can't fly, we'd rather strut than die

they said to look up 
to the blue spread of the sky
to see the beauty of life

but our hearts is just
too full of thorns and dusts
that the pain makes our eyes 
to discover anything good
out of living

but we're still breathing
still flowing with 
the stiff music of life

though we can't fly
we'd rather strut
than die

Monday, May 16, 2011

my escape

i'm sick with
the fact that
in order to escape
from my life

i have to turn to unnatural parks
to overcrowded malls
to the dark cinemas and arcades
to deafening silence of my own room

i wonder what it feels like
to escape
by running into the middle of 
nowhere, nothing but
grasses and sky
ground and stars
nature and me

becoming like Heidi
in midst of Alps
i wonder how it would feel

fortissime? cantabile? bach? schumann?

it's all the familiar words
on music
when i'm watching the anime
'nodame cantabile'

i am not a fan of classical music
and my intention of watching
all the 45 episodes
was to watch nodame herself

nodame is a weird girl
with vast imagination
and big talent in piano
she's not just a round character
she's a character 
which looks like a bubble;
always changing,
looks different from different angle
and definitely unpredictable

i love her
from the start till the end
and the music too!

the sound oboe produce
which i didn't even know exist
before this
is my favourite sound now

oh :)
back to nodame
i just love her 
variety of expressions


so here's one of my favourite part in
nodame cantabile : paris

one night, during dinner, nodame 
intended to study french
so she let out a book

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

oh, in case you don't know....

instead of undecipherable-suckish-blasphemous 
blabbering sound 

(right there in the fucking middle of gaga's born this way)

i'm grateful i didn't listen much to radio anyways

the phrase is actually actually

"no matter gay, straight or bi

lesbian, transgendered life"

oh? even i censored it?
it must be the habit

Monday, May 9, 2011

if i remember well, i'd got no feelings for anything back then.

all i ever wanted is a life so smooth,
i just have to glide over it.

but i remember well 
last night,
i was completely helpless
my love for you was just pouring out
in the form of tears
flowing non-stop

it's stupid
and i'm embarrassed
but i've got no one to tell
about my self-realization
except the blue bed
which i lied against
communicating with it
with soft, restrained
and the colorless tears

it's stupid that
reading a comic
remind me of you, me
and our times together
how you take care of me all this while
without me ever doing anything 
to please you back
how you're patient enough
to handle my childish tantrums
my humiliating behavior
and my shallow thinking

what pain me the most
is that
we're going to be separated
it's not long
just four months
but i guess
this pain in my chest
is a signal
that i've grown to our weekly
and that four months
will be too long for me not seeing you

Saturday, May 7, 2011

my dear, i didn't mean to lie

but though i know your nagging
is because you're worried
of my being

i could live with them

and i couldn't cope with your glare
the moment i tell you the truth

and i'm not one good with reasing
of something not so acceptable

some things
are better kept 

after all
secret are what
a woman

Friday, May 6, 2011

i'm annoying even myself

for not being able to stand up
and make myself sure everything's
at least all right

for not being able to stop sitting 
in this room
with the frigging sobs

for not being able to forget
the important people
who have already forgotten 
about me

for not being able to stop
relating the sad stupid manga
to my life
which makes me even sadder

for not being able to just run away
and away
and away 
from here

this very moment
i need 
of all its majestic elements 
the seven of them
to consume me
am i worth it?
is it worth it?

Thursday, May 5, 2011


when i told you you would do it

you said you won't

but somehow you did it

can't expect myself to put so much 
on you anymore
after all
high hopes
big disappointments
you gave


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

nana - though a bit outdated, cool nonetheless

today, i've just started reading an old manga. 
which means '7' in japanese.

it's about the life of two girls.
both named Nana.

i love the cheerful Nana.
she's clingy
a crybaby
warm and pleasant

and the cool Nana
i like her too :)
but kind,

i hope i can finish reading soon!
ganbatte ne~ 

cute notebooks

whenever i go to
gift shops
and the likes

i have this urge to buy
something like




but i refrain! 
unwillingly (pooh~)
coz i know what will happen next

"awww..... you're too cute
for me to doodle things on"

which will lead to

"i'll just keep you here"
*put it somewhere in the closet*

and after several month, tops

"oh, this..."
*put it into schoolbag with
intention to use*

aaaanndd finally

*the notebook will turn to something
so hideous
i'm forced to throw it away*
because my schoolbag has
enough things in it, thank you

but they're so cute!
i practically have to bite my lips
to not just grab them away to the devil counter


comsie's wisdom in my words

it doesn't matter
if you like
or both

there's no way you can change
what you favour

there's no way you can reason
why you like them

and once you like
or both

you just can't turn back
and change
what you favour


by the sea

i wont ever go back there, dude
there's nothing there
and a pretty but creepy girl
is totally obsessed with me 

i promise i'll wait here
for you
 by the seashore

i think she won't be waiting for me at all
she's pretty
i bet she's dating some other guys 
right now 

the heat may be bitter 
the wind may be nasty
but i'll still wait
 by the sea

if she waits?
i don't know dude.
maybe eventually she'll get sick of it
maybe even before that
her father will drag her off the seashore 
because you too  
 had promised me
 to come back here

it was just a nod as a polite gesture 
when she asked me
whether or not
i'll come back there
do you count that as a promise, dude? 

Monday, May 2, 2011


i still cant forget how you yell at me.
last night.

i'm still so shaken.
i feel like crying.

i can't believe i'm this weak.
i can't believe.
i will be afraid of you.
when i'm supposed to.
love you.

during & by the end of the holiday, here are my hopes

-shed SOME kilograms (ganbatte ne~ Xo)

-make up the overspent rm's (VERY important)

-play guitar better (HIGH hope!)

-buy a tuner (optional hihi)

-buy tonnes of make ups (optional haha)

-find myself (obligated)

-talk with more people to get rid of my nervousness wtf (omg must must must!)

-err.... maybe that's all kthnxbai

my cheesecake is melting

and so is my heart

it struck me so much
when i realize
i'll have to be with you 
in my future

will i be able to?

am i up to that?

is it too late to back down?

is it too late to say goodbye?

it pains me so

because always

i need you so

it's a wonderful world

but you were born hateful

you say those bad things
about them

you say the false things
about them

you spread the wrong things 
about them

you act as if you're god's angel,
not them

when in reality, you really are
one of them

your hipocrisy amaze me
your fakeness annoy me
your words enrage me

i was misleaded
by your holy verses
by your vast knowledge
by your i-know-it-all attitude
by your innocent expression

but inside
there's something not so innocent
something you hide
something not wrong, 
but you're afraid to reveal

well, it's your choice anyway
when you pretend to be SO GOOD
when irl you THAT BAD
in the end
you make me wanna puke

you're nothing but a pretender