i'm annoying even myself

for not being able to stand up
and make myself sure everything's
at least all right

for not being able to stop sitting 
in this room
with the frigging sobs

for not being able to forget
the important people
who have already forgotten 
about me

for not being able to stop
relating the sad stupid manga
to my life
which makes me even sadder

for not being able to just run away
and away
and away 
from here

really

this very moment

i need 

darkness

of all its majestic elements 

the seven of them

to consume me

but

am i worth it?
is it worth it?