if i remember well, i'd got no feelings for anything back then.

all i ever wanted is a life so smooth,
i just have to glide over it.

but i remember well 
last night,
i was completely helpless
my love for you was just pouring out
in the form of tears
flowing non-stop


it's stupid
and i'm embarrassed
but i've got no one to tell
about my self-realization
except the blue bed
which i lied against
communicating with it
with soft, restrained
sobs
and the colorless tears


it's stupid that
reading a comic
remind me of you, me
and our times together
about
how you take care of me all this while
without me ever doing anything 
to please you back
how you're patient enough
to handle my childish tantrums
my humiliating behavior
and my shallow thinking

what pain me the most
is that
we're going to be separated
it's not long
just four months
but i guess
this pain in my chest
is a signal
that i've grown to our weekly
rendezvous
and that four months
will be too long for me not seeing you