cute notebooks

whenever i go to

bookstores

gift shops

and the likes

i have this urge to buy

something like

,

,

 
or

but i refrain! 

unwillingly (pooh~)

coz i know what will happen next

"awww..... you're too cute

for me to doodle things on"

which will lead to

"i'll just keep you here"

*put it somewhere in the closet*

and after several month, tops

"oh, this..."

*put it into schoolbag with

intention to use*

aaaanndd finally

*the notebook will turn to something

so hideous

i'm forced to throw it away*

because my schoolbag has

enough things in it, thank you

but they're so cute!
i practically have to bite my lips
to not just grab them away to the devil counter
XO

 

to people above...

that's how true a .jpg can be

it was a good friday, though not a real party

still it's a precious memories

between me and 

you two

my first time drumming the tension away

(to! to! to! te! to! to! totototototototototo TE! XD)

my first time trying to climb against the escalator

(.... and failed badly X))

my first time genuinely having fun in a >2 outing

my first time hitting balls onto a screen

(and killed many many annoying cockroaches)

my first time having KFC bucket

(i always had individual set) 

thanks to you two

i now
have a memorable time this time of the year

:)

it's a rant, better not read it, excuse me, i dont have a diary : it's not a good night

not because of the assignment, apparently i managed to get it done, but after reading this manga.... >_>

it's not usual that reading such material can depress me, but 'cappuccino' really did it. it's supposed to bring me the theory of 'hope after the darkness' but now i see darkness all around me :(

and i have another two... burdens inside my head. apparently i made it up myself, due to my nature which likes things 10000000 times more complicated than what they really are <_<


so tonight's not a good night


if i can do it


*IF*

*i'd rather got wasted beneath the shimmering light

*jumping madness around the dancefloor


*cried my heart out before my BFF which due to current circumstance it's something equalified to NADA

*run around the streets like a crazy bitch

if there's no rapist or snatchers or freaks i would've been able to do the last part


*F*CK THEM* for making my life harder to cope

i need a cut

because i love this 

my first malay language post

and i'm gonna spend it reflecting something not good.

makin pikir makin nak marah.
tak pikir rase tercabar pulak.

kat ko aku nak cakap 2 perkataan je la.
k**** **o

aku tak kacau hidup ko dah la.
ko pehal nak menghanjeng aku pulak.

aku sebab malas nak gado2 la
aku buat bodo je

kalo dah benci tu buat la cara benci
takyah la nak ingat kat aku lagi
melainkan hal-hal keje


ko ingat aku batak sangat ke terhegeh-hegeh nak tegur ko?
sebab ni tugas aku jadi aku kene la ingatkan.


memang salah aku la hubungan kite tak baik
memang aku la yang jahat
dah tu?
perlu ke ko nak buat aku marah?
kalo nak bergurau pun, AKU? motif?
perlu ke aku nak berdendam ngan ko?
tak perlu pun

motif sangat aku letak bende ni kat blog
lantak la
kene la luahkan
penat aku simpan

so i guess that all
fuh~

i didn't disturb you, hell i've not said anything to you

and you still have the urge to joke me around?

like i'm still someone you know very well?


excuse me

 

i wish i'm on the dance floor right at this moment

i wish i'm on the dance floor

right at this moment

jump around as high as i like

tilted my head anyhow i like

 sweating the rage away

washing the fear away

welcoming sins my way

i wish he would let me be there

instead where i am now

trembling with disgust

fuming with chaos

alone

but

ain't all eventually come my way?

if i meant yes

it will be yes

no?

but i must set the stage right

be more of a person than a wallflower

find a few nonsensical friends

prepare myself for the big night

the night i will strut

on the dance floor

  

i can't believe it's that time of the year

when the season does come

and the affection ripen

i may offend some

but please, don't

i didn't want to influence people 

or something

and obviously, i'm bad at it

so quit bothering

when you see me

and what i'm doing

if you hate it

don't bother looking

k

thnx

bye

 

'us' is just like a bubble, when i'm expecting it to last, it popped. and smeared my face.

untitled

either i’m a bit autistic

or just plain stupid

coz i’m afraid to talk to you

coz i dont know how to react with many of emotions you expressed

coz sometimes i cant even fathom your emotion

Tagged and ... (i'm like, owh ma gawd)

"Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts or goal about yourself. At the end,choose 5 people to be tagged and you have to tag the person who had tagged you. If I tag you, it's because I want to know more about you."

1. i took the name Mint from Ben's comic. in that comic, she was portrayed as a girl who had a crush on her bff, and at that time i was having HUGE crush on someone, so i think the name suit me. and she was boyish, which me likey. from form 3 till now,surprisingly the name stays :P


2. i like watching bitchy people but not dealing with them


3. i get bored easily when watching movie, unless there's three things included there: gay (as jaybird) people, (blazingly) hot people and (omg i'm so freaked out i'm gonna sh*t myself) frightening ghost or maniac killer.


4. i have soft spot for soft guys, but when they started bitching TOO much, i'll just slip away.


5. i love pokemon and used to have a crush on Ash Ketchum. lolz


6. i'm constantly ignorant towards Twilight and other vampirish ... er... things. the one and only vampire series i adore is Gone From Daylight, gay-themed online vampire stories. i think the author is genius


7. yea, the author i love the most is Comica-f*cking-amazing-lity. i practically read most of his works. all gay-themed. so what? haters can f*ck off from his page.


8. i don't really like Disney cartoons but i wanna go to Disneyland... duh


9. i can be rather harsh at words especially when i'm angry or annoyed. curse words and profanity are *ahem* quite constantly used by me.


10. i used to want to be a cashier when i was small. coz i see my aunt holding so much money when i go to her workplace. okay that was stupid, but i was, like, five! whaddya expect?


11. i have ALWAYS been trying to write a story, in fact, many stories but subsequently ALWAYS fail to get to the end.


12. i love love love The Sims, but i hate hate hate the fact that i always failed while trying to install em! AARRRGHH!!!


13. i'm a Capricorn, and Horse Year. yep. not all 1991's are Goat Year lol. just found that out this year.


14. i'm not a sweet person, but i like to dwell in the sweetness of life that i cant manage to have. thus the poems, which many cant understand. lol. whatever


15. i like spicy food but i cant stand the hotness, same as the case when i like watching ghost stories when in the end i end up being too scared to even go to the bathroom alone. i dont have any mental problems aye?


16. i like drawing. i just have problem getting it from IRL to virtual world. my adobe photoshop skill sux like hell.


17. i wanna be someone who deal a lot with English language. i used to peruse the list of jobs available in the field of language. translator, teacher, editor, blah blah blah. now i end up in teacher training institute. not bad, i got what i want. thank god :D


18. i was literally forced by mr. Kay to open my once-closed facebook account.


19. beloved bloggers : i love xiaxue. she's amazingly beautiful, and good at writing. and her cuteness isn't easy to decline. i love kak senduk. everytime i read her posts, i cant hold myself from laughing my ass off. XD


20. i often wander around the net to search for random pics, so i can write outta them.


21. i'd like to be punctual. but when other people start to delay the time and i end up being a loner and nerd who comes early, i become fed up. and come up late with others. better.


22. i am frigging afraid of cockroaches. EVERY SINGLE THING about cockroaches creeps the hell outta me. and to think i've TASTE em, without puking afterwards. fml.


23. i love yam cordial the most! other type of cordial, however, is unacceptable. like grapes of mango, i want juice! fresh!

24. "i'd like black forest cheese and chocolate indulgence, please" is my favourite sentence when i go to secret recipe.

25. i am a lazy girl who HATES thinking. that's why i push away sudoku and crosswords puzzle every single time. ya ya ya i know they're good for the brain, but ..... >_>!!!!

thanks mr azham! i think no one really read my blog, so i wont tag anyone, lolz

To Mr. Kay....

thanks for tonight

i enjoy talking to you

and

i'm glad

i caught you before you fade away

completely from my life

thanks for the second chance



and i know you hated me calling you

Mr. Kay

but hun

nobody's really reading this blog

without not understanding it

so no worries

i'll zip my (as if) b*tchy mouth

on the outside



so

happy holiday

in Korea world

and take care

Mr. Kay

It's Not Easy

being me


i've been hated

i've been mocked

i've been betrayed


for 1001 reasons

i'm not sensitive enough

i'm too sensitive

i'm too deadpan-faced

i'm too excited with something

i'm too bad

i'm too ugly

or whatever else they say


and what do they expect from me?

change myself in return of

some kind of alliance?

pretend to be someone else MY WHOLE LIFE?

magically turn to a living angel tomorrow?

go and do a plastic surgery?


i'm sorry i can't be perfect

yes, i do give a damn what people say

and what people think of me

but who am i to fulfill everyone's want?

i'm nowhere near that position


and for that

i don't have to change myself

and i just can continue being myself

and i just keep being ignorant

and i just preserve my oversensitive-self



yes

from time to time

i may try to change towards the better me

but not in seconds

but not in days

i need time for that


even in photoshop the 'dodge' button

have to be pressed a number of times before

the stain disappear


and in real life?

it takes longer than that

or else if you use concentrated acid

which will simultaneously destroy the thing

which, is ME

Thanks

thnks fr th mmrs

even though they weren't so great

he taste like you

only sweeter

My Scarce Self Esteem

how do you heighten your self-esteem?

when all i can feel inside
is fear?
is humiliation?
is cynicism?


how can you be so sure of yourself?

when all i hear now
is whispering?
is snickering?
is mocking?


how can you stand up so straight?

when all i want to do
is running away?
is backing down?
is hiding my face?


why your smile can be so confident?

when i only have the feeling
that i'm wrong?
that i'm stupid?
that i'm nothing?

Duh

i dont come here

so i can be your maid

not capable of even being a servant

so please realize what moves you have forgotten

like, these two weeks?

repeat, i'm not your fucking maid

Loving This

Regrets and Anger

somehow
i woke up this morning
thinking
about the last paper
and
i feel stressed
like
i didn't do my best
but
i did
and
now all i can do
is
keeping my finger crossed
and
pray for the best