eki is so kind!

she's giving away a domo-kun

cute little bag with

even cuter things inside!

like,

THIS!

anyone can be the lucky winner!

just follow the instruction

but beware

luck just may be on MY side

wahahaha

XD

give it a try!

eki's blog

queen of self-love

she's someone who would say

whatever she want to say

without crossing the border 

of finite stupidity

she would sleep with her mind

wander among the starlit sky

seeking for just one more way

to change tomorrow from today

she would present melodies

with true words like charms

that works everytime for people

who are still lost in the world too big

she would 

and should

and will had been

and was

and is

and always will be 

the queen of self-love 

i couldn't possibly not love

fhsdkfhhksdfhksdjgagajfdksfjsdlfjdkfjsdklfjdgsas

won't it be better, dear

for you to

be honest and

let my love

lies somewhere along the road

of this life

in midst of winter

than for you taking it

and manipulate it

and leaving it

somewhere along the 

scattered roses

and wasted tears

in messy summer rain?

plain stupidity

 

if you intend to enter a vote-based competition

at least you can make your blog public

wtf

it's like voting for american idol

without listening to the candidates singing

 

aww. cuuuute!

ha. i wish it's THAT easy to shut them up

through we can't fly, we'd rather strut than die

they said to look up 

to the blue spread of the sky

to see the beauty of life

but our hearts is just

too full of thorns and dusts

that the pain makes our eyes 

blurry

unable

to discover anything good

out of living

but we're still breathing

still flowing with 

the stiff music of life

though we can't fly

we'd rather strut

than die

my escape

i'm sick with

the fact that

in order to escape

from my life

i have to turn to unnatural parks

to overcrowded malls

to the dark cinemas and arcades

to deafening silence of my own room

sometimes

i wonder what it feels like

to escape

by running into the middle of 

nowhere, nothing but

grasses and sky

ground and stars

nature and me

becoming like Heidi

in midst of Alps

i wonder how it would feel

fortissime? cantabile? bach? schumann?

it's all the familiar words

on music

when i'm watching the anime

'nodame cantabile'

i am not a fan of classical music

and my intention of watching

all the 45 episodes

was to watch nodame herself

::snickers::

nodame is a weird girl

with vast imagination

and big talent in piano

so

she's not just a round character

she's a character 

which looks like a bubble;

always changing,

looks different from different angle

and definitely unpredictable

i love her

from the start till the end

and the music too!

the sound oboe produce

which i didn't even know exist

before this

is my favourite sound now

oh :)

back to nodame

i just love her 

variety of expressions

GYABOO!

xD

so here's one of my favourite part in

nodame cantabile : paris

one night, during dinner, nodame 

intended to study french
so she let out a book

oh, in case you don't know....

instead of undecipherable-suckish-blasphemous 
"blop-blap-pop-plap-pok-pla-a-a-a" 
blabbering sound 

(right there in the fucking middle of gaga's born this way)

i'm grateful i didn't listen much to radio anyways

the phrase is actually actually

"no matter gay, straight or bi

lesbian, transgendered life"

oh? even i censored it?

it must be the habit

duh~

:P 

if i remember well, i'd got no feelings for anything back then.

all i ever wanted is a life so smooth,
i just have to glide over it.

but i remember well 
last night,
i was completely helpless
my love for you was just pouring out
in the form of tears
flowing non-stop


it's stupid
and i'm embarrassed
but i've got no one to tell
about my self-realization
except the blue bed
which i lied against
communicating with it
with soft, restrained
sobs
and the colorless tears


it's stupid that
reading a comic
remind me of you, me
and our times together
about
how you take care of me all this while
without me ever doing anything 
to please you back
how you're patient enough
to handle my childish tantrums
my humiliating behavior
and my shallow thinking

what pain me the most
is that
we're going to be separated
it's not long
just four months
but i guess
this pain in my chest
is a signal
that i've grown to our weekly
rendezvous
and that four months
will be too long for me not seeing you

my dear, i didn't mean to lie

but though i know your nagging
is because you're worried
of my being

i could live with them

and i couldn't cope with your glare
the moment i tell you the truth

and i'm not one good with reasing
of something not so acceptable

and
some things
are better kept 
secrets

after all
secret are what
makes
a woman
woman
 

i'm annoying even myself

for not being able to stand up
and make myself sure everything's
at least all right

for not being able to stop sitting 
in this room
with the frigging sobs

for not being able to forget
the important people
who have already forgotten 
about me

for not being able to stop
relating the sad stupid manga
to my life
which makes me even sadder

for not being able to just run away
and away
and away 
from here

really

this very moment

i need 

darkness

of all its majestic elements 

the seven of them

to consume me

but

am i worth it?
is it worth it?

ironic

when i told you you would do it

you said you won't

but somehow you did it

even 

i 

can't expect myself to put so much 

trust 

on you anymore

after all

the

high hopes

and

big disappointments

you gave

hmm..

nana - though a bit outdated, cool nonetheless

today, i've just started reading an old manga. 

NANA. 

which means '7' in japanese.

it's about the life of two girls.

both named Nana.

hee.

i love the cheerful Nana.

she's clingy

a crybaby

but 

warm and pleasant

and the cool Nana

i like her too :)

mysterious

enchanting

but kind,

refreshing

i hope i can finish reading soon!

ganbatte ne~ 

cute notebooks

whenever i go to

bookstores

gift shops

and the likes

i have this urge to buy

something like

,

,

 
or

but i refrain! 

unwillingly (pooh~)

coz i know what will happen next

"awww..... you're too cute

for me to doodle things on"

which will lead to

"i'll just keep you here"

*put it somewhere in the closet*

and after several month, tops

"oh, this..."

*put it into schoolbag with

intention to use*

aaaanndd finally

*the notebook will turn to something

so hideous

i'm forced to throw it away*

because my schoolbag has

enough things in it, thank you

but they're so cute!
i practically have to bite my lips
to not just grab them away to the devil counter
XO

 

comsie's wisdom in my words

it doesn't matter

if you like

vanilla

,

strawberry

,

or both

there's no way you can change

what you favour

there's no way you can reason

why you like them

and once you like

strawberry

,

vanilla

,

or both

you just can't turn back

and change

what you favour

:)

by the sea

i wont ever go back there, dude

there's nothing there

and a pretty but creepy girl

is totally obsessed with me 

i promise i'll wait here

for you

 by the seashore

i think she won't be waiting for me at all

she's pretty

i bet she's dating some other guys 

right now 

the heat may be bitter 

the wind may be nasty

but i'll still wait

 by the sea

if she waits?

i don't know dude.

maybe eventually she'll get sick of it

maybe even before that

her father will drag her off the seashore 

 

because you too  

 had promised me

 to come back here

it was just a nod as a polite gesture 

when she asked me

whether or not

i'll come back there

do you count that as a promise, dude? 

dear.

i still cant forget how you yell at me.
last night.

i'm still so shaken.
i feel like crying.


i can't believe i'm this weak.
i can't believe.
i will be afraid of you.
when i'm supposed to.
love you.