advice

ADVICE

is a few words i seek when

a) i dont know what to do

b) i know what to do but i refuse to believe

that THAT is what i have to do

untitled

either i’m a bit autistic

or just plain stupid

coz i’m afraid to talk to you

coz i dont know how to react with many of emotions you expressed

coz sometimes i cant even fathom your emotion

Tagged and ... (i'm like, owh ma gawd)

"Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts or goal about yourself. At the end,choose 5 people to be tagged and you have to tag the person who had tagged you. If I tag you, it's because I want to know more about you."

1. i took the name Mint from Ben's comic. in that comic, she was portrayed as a girl who had a crush on her bff, and at that time i was having HUGE crush on someone, so i think the name suit me. and she was boyish, which me likey. from form 3 till now,surprisingly the name stays :P


2. i like watching bitchy people but not dealing with them


3. i get bored easily when watching movie, unless there's three things included there: gay (as jaybird) people, (blazingly) hot people and (omg i'm so freaked out i'm gonna sh*t myself) frightening ghost or maniac killer.


4. i have soft spot for soft guys, but when they started bitching TOO much, i'll just slip away.


5. i love pokemon and used to have a crush on Ash Ketchum. lolz


6. i'm constantly ignorant towards Twilight and other vampirish ... er... things. the one and only vampire series i adore is Gone From Daylight, gay-themed online vampire stories. i think the author is genius


7. yea, the author i love the most is Comica-f*cking-amazing-lity. i practically read most of his works. all gay-themed. so what? haters can f*ck off from his page.


8. i don't really like Disney cartoons but i wanna go to Disneyland... duh


9. i can be rather harsh at words especially when i'm angry or annoyed. curse words and profanity are *ahem* quite constantly used by me.


10. i used to want to be a cashier when i was small. coz i see my aunt holding so much money when i go to her workplace. okay that was stupid, but i was, like, five! whaddya expect?


11. i have ALWAYS been trying to write a story, in fact, many stories but subsequently ALWAYS fail to get to the end.


12. i love love love The Sims, but i hate hate hate the fact that i always failed while trying to install em! AARRRGHH!!!


13. i'm a Capricorn, and Horse Year. yep. not all 1991's are Goat Year lol. just found that out this year.


14. i'm not a sweet person, but i like to dwell in the sweetness of life that i cant manage to have. thus the poems, which many cant understand. lol. whatever


15. i like spicy food but i cant stand the hotness, same as the case when i like watching ghost stories when in the end i end up being too scared to even go to the bathroom alone. i dont have any mental problems aye?


16. i like drawing. i just have problem getting it from IRL to virtual world. my adobe photoshop skill sux like hell.


17. i wanna be someone who deal a lot with English language. i used to peruse the list of jobs available in the field of language. translator, teacher, editor, blah blah blah. now i end up in teacher training institute. not bad, i got what i want. thank god :D


18. i was literally forced by mr. Kay to open my once-closed facebook account.


19. beloved bloggers : i love xiaxue. she's amazingly beautiful, and good at writing. and her cuteness isn't easy to decline. i love kak senduk. everytime i read her posts, i cant hold myself from laughing my ass off. XD


20. i often wander around the net to search for random pics, so i can write outta them.


21. i'd like to be punctual. but when other people start to delay the time and i end up being a loner and nerd who comes early, i become fed up. and come up late with others. better.


22. i am frigging afraid of cockroaches. EVERY SINGLE THING about cockroaches creeps the hell outta me. and to think i've TASTE em, without puking afterwards. fml.


23. i love yam cordial the most! other type of cordial, however, is unacceptable. like grapes of mango, i want juice! fresh!

24. "i'd like black forest cheese and chocolate indulgence, please" is my favourite sentence when i go to secret recipe.

25. i am a lazy girl who HATES thinking. that's why i push away sudoku and crosswords puzzle every single time. ya ya ya i know they're good for the brain, but ..... >_>!!!!

thanks mr azham! i think no one really read my blog, so i wont tag anyone, lolz

To Mr. Kay....

thanks for tonight

i enjoy talking to you

and

i'm glad

i caught you before you fade away

completely from my life

thanks for the second chance



and i know you hated me calling you

Mr. Kay

but hun

nobody's really reading this blog

without not understanding it

so no worries

i'll zip my (as if) b*tchy mouth

on the outside



so

happy holiday

in Korea world

and take care

Mr. Kay

It's Not Easy

being me


i've been hated

i've been mocked

i've been betrayed


for 1001 reasons

i'm not sensitive enough

i'm too sensitive

i'm too deadpan-faced

i'm too excited with something

i'm too bad

i'm too ugly

or whatever else they say


and what do they expect from me?

change myself in return of

some kind of alliance?

pretend to be someone else MY WHOLE LIFE?

magically turn to a living angel tomorrow?

go and do a plastic surgery?


i'm sorry i can't be perfect

yes, i do give a damn what people say

and what people think of me

but who am i to fulfill everyone's want?

i'm nowhere near that position


and for that

i don't have to change myself

and i just can continue being myself

and i just keep being ignorant

and i just preserve my oversensitive-self



yes

from time to time

i may try to change towards the better me

but not in seconds

but not in days

i need time for that


even in photoshop the 'dodge' button

have to be pressed a number of times before

the stain disappear


and in real life?

it takes longer than that

or else if you use concentrated acid

which will simultaneously destroy the thing

which, is ME

When I Was

a teenager

summer life was easy

taking jobs at fast food chains

holding parties at parentless houses

playing on the beach with pals

studying a bit for oncoming school term

like quite a nerd i was

but still,

summer was my beloved season of all

the warm sunlight was refreshing

the natural tan was enlightening

the hot guys wandering around were exciting



now, i have grown up

and my summers are spent

redecorating the house after winter

worrying over my teenage children

helping my lover finishing his dream patio

trying all summer dishes in the television

but still

as hectic as my life is now in summer

i'm happy

i'm contented

i'm relaxed

just as i was in my teenage years



summer was

and still is

my favourite season of all

A Picture of Unspoken Wish

that sweet moment

of me first knowing you

i'll always remember

because henceforth

i've been watching you grow up

from a chatty toddler

to a talkative girl


you are my master

you are my best friend

you are my protector

you are first beloved

from the moment

you found me


now that you've grown up

you're too busy kissing him

too busy with school works

too busy with pineapple casserole

that

sometimes i wonder

does you affection still stays

like mine

Dear Husband

dear husband,

i'm waiting for you

to save me from here


dear husband,

you said you'll love me forever

hence, why did you left me here?


dear husband,

i am beautiful just the way i was

and i appreciate your letting me wear my wedding dress

during my funeral

after the night you stabbed me in the heart


dear husband,

i'm longing to meet you again

asking you why

asking you how

asking you when

the love we build over years

turned to such contempt

in such a short period

you've known my real

bitchy

fussy

clingy

self


dear husband,

if i know this would be the end

that you would be my bluebeard

i'd never pretend to be someone so perfect

before you

in past

Less Love to Life

i'm growing sick

of stale air

of paved road

of artificial food

of tall skyscrapers

of blazing sunlight

but


i'm not one of those people

shouting over your ears

for greener lifestyle

for consumption of organic food

for using less petroleum

because

i dont feel like

having the world over my shoulders

for just a realization



i'm an ordinary boy

who's sick of this world

and a bored boy

who wish he could just fade away

from this emptiness

Chained Memories

when someone broke your heart

don't you just wish

you can dump the shattered part

you can wash away the blood splattered

you can press 'del' and the grief is gone

and be happy again?


instead of you

literally chained to the pain

unable to let go

having to keep the sadness built up

keeping the urge to scream inside

sweet memories eating you inside

bad memories made you cringe

for weeks

or months

or years to come

alone

Reading

it doesn't matter

if i don't possess humane traits

if i live in a solitude forest

if all i have as friends are animals

if my light comes from flowers and moon

because i am happy

with my life

with my friends

and

my reading

which bring me to complicated human world

or the divine gods and goddesses' world

or the endless whales and sharks' world

without me contemplating to

resort in anything

extreme

Of Bubbbbbbles and Bicycle

you love seeing my hair

flowing by the wind

freely in the air

the shiny lustrous locks

proudly showing off its beauty to

anyone who's been looking



i love seeing bubbles

wander higher and higher

with wind bringing them away

or the unheard 'pop' vanish them away



so i take the bicycle

and had you having me as passenger

blowing bubbles happily

as you cycle against the wind

i know you can't see me

but i know you're imagining

and i know what you're imagining

is what's really happening



and you sing for me

a song with you sweet sweet voice

as raspy as the strawberry essence

as soft as the midnight satin



that is our first date

so darling

how can i not fall in love with you everyday

with our bicycle tour around town, you insist

every sunny day?

and with you insist

calling me, singing for me
with your soothing voice

every rainy day?

Going Back to Home

everytime i step onto the home lawn

the first thing i expected is

your boyish grin

your crumpled shirt

on your lean body

a warm hug

and nothing else from you


growing distance never seem to

keep us apart

how ironic

in few the times i get to see you

i grew closer to you

what do i expect?

you're my only relative

my dear little brother


you insist to stay in the countryside

and you bring me into its exciting world

every time i was there


waiting for anything to caught the bait

i cant help but stare at you

and think about the others

who left us here

the little boy who cry in my embrace

during the massive funeral

has grown up into a strong man

stronger than me even

no longer i have to pull

and pick the fish for him

he did it for me


my handsome little brother has grown up

but can i still protect him like the big sister

i used to be?

When The Syrupy Sugar Soured...

back then you always sing of me

with sweet words

and beautiful melody

along with your loving stare

and your warm hand around mine


how come these days

after our wedding rings has turned three

you sing of me

with cold harsh words

and terribly high melody

your stare full of hatred

your hands cold against my skin

as they repeatedly aimed towards my skin


i wonder if this person hurting me today
is the same person who loved me those days

Of Boredom and Funny Creativity

thank god you're here

the calligraphy class nearly killed me

of excessive boredom

aa, why are you here?

no idea why i'm here either

anyway, the teacher's gone

something's wrong with his stomach

perhaps the soup he ate just now is spoiled

mom asked me to throw the soup away

or give it to him today?

we two have no idea, so

let me make your face a bit different

you know, to surprise dad

he's coming home today

so let's have some fun
while we have the chance

What's Wrong?

what's wrong?


the love of your life dumped you?


your best friend turned his/her back on you?


your piggy bank full of coins is stolen?


you barely passed you examination paper?


strangers whispered false bad things about you?


many people negatively criticized your blog?


your friends think you are an arsehole?


well, as if you don't know how cruel life can be


boo ya

personally i like this tiger, no matter how humorous its face can be.
but the 'tongue sticking out part' really match this post.
so, yeah.

Bow Down, and I'm Out, Pancake

i'll gladly accompany you to the door
and kick your ass into the darkness
stop mocking "aww, baby your so poooor"
i'm sick of you nosing around my every business



don't you know every coffee i give you
has approximately 10ml of saliva in it?
that's one of my way of saying "i hate you"
because saying it outloud may seem impolite



yes, pancake, now you're a deadmeat
your employer now know your wrongdoings
what do you think the camcorder is for
lighted on when you are drinking yourself crazy


i have to stop because writing about you
make me wanna puke onto my computer screen
which, btw worth more than bitch like you

(to be continued....)

Thanks

thnks fr th mmrs

even though they weren't so great

he taste like you

only sweeter

Her Favourite Guy

it's embarrassing

but she have to admit

his hands own more art

his hands have more skills

his hands move more delicate

compared to hers

cold

hard

stiff

albeit the beautiful long fingers

albeit the pretty pink nails

albeit the soft smooth skin


still

he won, because he knows well

how to beautify

how to decorate

how to shade

a woman's face


and for that

she doesn't mind

of losing

because in the end


the flawless skin

pink blushed cheeks

deep shaded jaw

carefully permed hair

kissable shiny lips

bold blackened eyes

are all hers to have


his angelic touch
is hers and hers only

My Scarce Self Esteem

how do you heighten your self-esteem?

when all i can feel inside
is fear?
is humiliation?
is cynicism?


how can you be so sure of yourself?

when all i hear now
is whispering?
is snickering?
is mocking?


how can you stand up so straight?

when all i want to do
is running away?
is backing down?
is hiding my face?


why your smile can be so confident?

when i only have the feeling
that i'm wrong?
that i'm stupid?
that i'm nothing?

All of Old

at the left corner
in the ground level
of a large building
is a house

it's only assumption
one kid my age could produce
for there is
an old bicycle
seasoned curtains
complete silence

i've never seen anyone in
as i passed it
on the way to school
just complete, deep silence
which creeps me out
which saddened me
which leaves me wondering

as i walked before it
i mapped out stories
in my green mind

of an old man
living in there
without his wife, dead
without his children, migrated
by himself
all alone
in tears
in loneliness
in depression
in scarcity

and i wondered if he's dead by then
well, i could say yes or no
because he's my creation after all

Duh

i dont come here

so i can be your maid

not capable of even being a servant

so please realize what moves you have forgotten

like, these two weeks?

repeat, i'm not your fucking maid

To guys that wear their jeans below their bums.

The craze was started in American prisons when prisioners would basically sell themselves for money. Wearing their trousers below their anus, it was a sign to other inmates that they would happily ‘take it up the bum’ for money.

So all you ‘Gangsters’ with your baggy jeans thinking you got ‘Swagger’, really just want a bit of anal.

Pointless fact of the day.

Dear Master

master, master

do you wanna go out

in this gloomy weather?

i plead you not

just now i see a black cloud

floating above the lawn

as if waiting for you to get out

as if wanting to take you away

i dont wanna lose you

my dear master

but would you listen to me?
a humble creation lower than you?

Choosing

if i choose you

will my life be brighter?

will my tears begone?

will everybody be happy?

will i laugh with joy?




if i choose him

will he stop beating me up?

will my tears be wiped away?

will the pain fly away?

will the depression dry up?

will i be happy?

Waiting

sitting here
amidst the trees
showered by wind
rained by fallen leaves
i wondered

am i this stupid
am i this desperate
am i this naive
to be sitting alone in a park
waiting for someone

someone i knew
deceiving me
making me believe
that he will somehow
realize how much love
i'm willing to give him

i tried to smile
remembering yours
but the smile
is fake
is empty
is... not there

i hope it is a sign i've had enough of loving you
because i've had enough of loving you
because loving you
is not enough
without you sincerely loving me back

A New Home

this night
is the first i spend here
from buzzing metropolitan city
to a quiet countryside

it's different
hearing frogs croaking
hearing owls hooting
hearing the river flowing

i'm speechless
seeing the leaves waving
seeing the stars scattered
seeing the sky so dark

i'm all alone
my parents sleeping in the bedroom
Skipper drowzing on the couch
Buffy swimming lazily in his tank

i feel the need to go back
for my friends
for familiar city noise
for nearby mall buildings
the hectic metropolitan life

but i can't resist
the calmness
the sweetness
the serenity

the salvation of myself
only such isolation could provide

All The Best to Myself and All XD

My Hope Too....

Awwww......

3D Jigglypuff!!!!!!!!!

A Plate of Nasi Lemak like this, please????

Spread Your Wings and Fly.....

Loving This

Of Holding Hands And True Love

our story
started when
we were toddlers
small, young, ignorant
fate had us met
in the comfy nursing home
i slightly remember
me holding your hands
inspecting, careful, doubtful
the warmth, the softness
was different from mine

then after months
i moved to someplace else
found new friends
but i had you in mind
your soft, cuddly hands
and your striking red hair
kept you in my mind
for so long

true, through kindergarten
through elementary school
through junior high
through high school
i met new people
i loved new people
but their hands felt nowhere
as comforting as yours
added with teenage frenzy
and social pressure
i literally jumped
from one girl to another

then i entered college
i saw you, yes you
walking alone
with books your height
in the trolley you pushed
big spectacles
braided hair
a perfect nerd, no?
perfect specimen of a nerd, yes?
but your striking red hair
differentiate you from other
and i promptly knew
"that's her"

you seemed to remember
my icy blue eyes
the way you say my name excitedly
had me all smiles and laugh
yes, from a cute toddler
you've grown up to be a cute woman
and i felt like
i wanna hold your hands
again
in a whole different situation

you said yes
and i get to hold your hands
the same warmth
the same comfort
the same feeling
i felt when i grasped them

through college
through adulthood
through marriage
though parenthood
i still hold the same hands
and still felt the same warmth

too bad
too bad that you have to go first
the hands that always warm mine
are now cold to touch
as cold as the rain outside
as cold as my heart feeling

Of Strawberry Lollipop and Love

i love
my strawberry lollipop

i still remember
the first day i had them
given by daddy
i was so addicted
i made him promise
that he would buy me
one every weekend
more frequent and
mum would frown our way

and now
i still love
to suckle on the crystallized sugar
to savour the sweetness
to drown in its overwhelming taste

i dont know why my friend
resent me doing that
what, eating sweet is impolite now?
they would snicker
they would whisper
i hate being the centre of negative attention

so
i hide my habit
continuing it in home
as i watch TV alone
or leaning onto daddy's strong shoulders
as i am chatting on my mac
while listening to daddy's nagging
about my messy room

at times he would look my way
"don't you ever get bored of that?"
i asked him back
"don't you ever get bored of me?"
he would laugh
and gently brought me into his manly hug
"no, not ever"

Goodbye Letter

dear love,

i'm leaving today

after all the lies

all the beating

all the smirks

all the fake promises

i think i've had enough

no i wont be back again

because i had it all planned

i'll go to new york

and start a new life there

stacy is there, ya know

she said there's a job for me

i wont depend on you again

why should i?

i have my double degrees

i dont know what led me

to fall so deep with you

oh

and i'm wearing black today

to mourn for our dead love

believe me, it's hard

seeing it dying

i've shed enough tears

i've had enough sighing

now it's time for me to go

goodbye,

hatred & regret