Thoughts

anyone reading

In the Fish Bowl

would know the conflict
between A.K. and O.D



it surprised me
at first the situation seemed
so far
so distant
from me
but now as i walk past
the roads
and days
i could not help but feeling
that i hope it will end
back to the good ole days

i'm not suffering
from now
but i just kinda
miss then

what if things went back
at then
and i wish it was back
to now?
i'll be deemed as ungrateful
being given the taste
of both world
and still can't get enough

perhaps
i should just let things be
they are always meant to be
maybe
now
is what
it meant to be

sincerely mine, mint

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

true
i like to stay quiet
in a dark corner
doing things by myself
but
it doesn't mean i'm a loner
unattached
to my peers
sure
sometimes i'd be glad to do just that
but other times
it's just
i need them
bliss is not ALWAYS
about ignorance
it's also
about
being involved
though there's always risk
of being
miffed
hurted
mocked
but life itself is a gamble
why not just as well
gamble on everything?

when i was small
friends are VERY important
i felt as if i cant live without them
then
i had to move a lot
from THE area to THAT area
from THAT area to THIS area

and friends are lost
and i was hurt

that's when i decided
to change
still, i appreciate companions
but i dare not looking at them
with the look
i used to use long ago

because i'm afraid of being hurt
and hurting others
though i know
i'm always doing just that
inevitably
at times words and actions just flow out
without me rationalizing it just yet

separated yet united
go figure

sincerely mine,

mint

Ruang Rindu by Letto

Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut
Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada

Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia
Terasa hangat oh didalam hati
Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi




Tak pernah kuragu dan selalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
Ku saat itu takut mencari makna
Tumbuhkan rasa yang sesakkan dada



...........
....
...............
........
....
..
.

Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kuterima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

Silence

does she
always have things to say
when she came for you?
when she called you?
when she texted you?

when all she wanted to know
is
are you safe?
are you feeling okay?
do you still love her
the way she loved you?

you know how she was built
of silence
of listener's complex
of speechlessness
of sealed lips

When Tears Came

i really couldnt explain why
i cannot refrain from
crying like a child
everytime the mother
uttered word by word
of
love
acceptance
to her son

i wonder
am i able to do
just the same
if
the circumstance fall
to me?

Let. Me. Be.

i know
when the sky is dark
it's easy to see the stars
that will guide me
to the place i should be

i know
when it's daylight
i can't see the stars
i'm left alone
in the middle of the road

i know
i'm losing it all
as i stand here in daylight
when it's too bright
for me to see
what's wrong
and
what's right

but
in the daylight
i find my joy
i find my will to live
i find the meaning of life
i find friends
i find family
brothers
sisters
uncles

in the daylight
i can see
what is really happening
with my eyes
along with other senses
i can think clearly
i can pick my own rationale

not when it's dark
i can only rely on the voices telling me the truth
as i am blinded by the darkness
not seeing anything
not assured of everything
suffocated by the darkness that bind

so
let me be
here
i need to be here
desperately
it has been years
and i'm still here
i know people trying to drag me out
but i'm not moving
my affection is strong
my love still burning
i can't let go

let me be
lost
in this daylight

I Hate You!

Today, I wanna slap someone in the face
but I dont have the
courage to.
FML

I don't mean to be bitchy or something, I just need to get the steam off my head. And it's my 'canvas' here anyway, so dont bother reading if you don't feel like it.

I just hate this person too much! From the first time I see her, up until this moment.....




I dont know if my view on her is biased due to my hatred, but I feel NOTHING that she has ever given me is useful. They are all rubbish! Trifle! Useless!




When she stepped into the same room, I instantly suffocated. I need the necessary element of air only available when she is NOT there!



I cringed when I hear her voice. I hate it! VERY! I'd rather she just write something to me rather than speaking DIRECTLY to me.





When she try (rather unsuccessfully) to pull out her sense
of humor, I can help but smirk. Complete with "yeah, whatever" It's like a crime because it only force people to laugh just to flatter her.
::yikes::
Definitely and literally a torture

My::Music::Shuffle::My::Life

OK.... So I kinda got this thing from Eizhar's blog, and it has been a long time since I'd done anything random like this, which I miss badly! Hehehe....I dont know everyone, like, had thorough with this activity but what the hell? I"M DOING IT NOW! XD

So, how to do this thing?

First, set your music player to shuffle mode

Next, answer the question with the title, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT IS! :D

So, here's my result

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Twist Me Around - Mocca
who doesnt like a hug regardless when he/she is happy AND down? I'd love too LOL

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Never Let You Go - Justin Bieber
hehehe I dont know if I'm a psycho that wont let people go... But I can be quite just that... hehehe Or is it peeps that wont let me off their mind? geez.... I doubt THAT! XD


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Good Girls Gone Bad - Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester
woohoo!!!!! the song tells it alllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
That's What you Get - Paramore
hahaha yeah, absolutely what I'm feeling today is the 'fruit' of what I had been doing the previous days


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Down Like That - T.I. ft. Fergie
Errrrrr........

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
We Are Golden - Mika
we are golden peeps! WOOT! WOOT!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kau Kekasihku - Siti Nurhaliza
Errrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm...... Like, seriously? Hahaha!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Takes One To Know One - Katy Perry
Uh, wow. Fathomable.... :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Walking in The Air - Declan Galbraith
is this the sarcastic ways of fate trying to tell me to stop imagining things? LOL! Anyway, never really know the lyric and the meaning of the song, so ..... ::shrugs::


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Imagine - Declan Galbraith
LOL i dont see the connection, like, AT ALL! XD

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Pain Of Love - Tokio Hotel
Never really know the song, but OUCH!!! keeping up with the person we love, trying to satisfy them (figuratively) is a hard work .... ::nods::

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Do I - Luke Bryan
LOL again, I dont see the connection!!!!!! I'm not doubtful at all!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Entahkan Jadi Entahkan Tidak - SM Salim ft Siti Nurhaliza
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Ay Amor (Rosalinda) - Thalia
love this song!!! dance with me, sweetheart :)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Amazing Grace - Declan Galbraith
::speechless:: i shouldnt even let others know I listen to songs like this, but ::shrugs:: i dont give a damn regarding to critics of my choice of music. my ears, my interpretation, my mind.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
Disgusting - Miranda Cosgrove
AAAWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
America's Suiteheart - Fallout Boy
Hahahhahahahahahaahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha! maybe it's because they are extremely cute??????!!!!!!! :3

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Fame - Lady Gaga
lolololololololololololololololololloollooloooolollollollolollollollolZZZZZZZ!!!!!!! sssssssssshhhhh..... can you keep this secret? hehehe

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Back To The 80's - Aqua
;)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Rain - Mika
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........................................


WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Hold On - Jonas Brothers
yea, hold on..... the internet connection sux BIG TIME hahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!

Thing That Comes When I Least Expected It To

I was studying in this school. It was my senior year. Sure, life couldn't get better for most of my friends. It was the 'peak' of their teenage life, you know.
Experiencing new exciting things every single day.
Laughter.
Tears.
Knowledge.
Love.
Friendship.
They just couldn't get enough of this life.

But I chose the other way.
I saw life as continuous routine.
Mundane and never changing.
LOL
And be the loner that I still am now.
It's not that I dread everything.
Or loathing life.
I just ceased to care about it.
As long as I flow.
Breathe.
Live.
Nothing else matters.

Life can get boring way too easy for me.
So I resort in friendship.
Online friends, you may call them.
Some kind, some just plain bullsh*t.
But fun nonetheless.
Unlike friends IRL
I can just ditch them whenever I feel like to
Or just keep silent till they fade away
Or pour out all my deepest secret without fear
Or discuss things that would be frowned upon by most people

Come this one friend.
I see this a chance to get a new special friend
Not in 'that' way
It's special in another way
Which you would not understand anyway

Nevertheless, life become pretty interesting when this friend appear
Messages
Calls
Messages
Calls
Messages
Calls
I just could not refrain from talking to this friend
After lights-off
During prep classes
In the peaceful prep-less evenings
I find peace when I talk to this friend
So things keep going
on and
on and
on and
on
for a long time

"Would you let me to take you as my girlfriend?"
No, it's not the rip-off of the lyrics of a song
This friend sent the message to me one night
And the fear came in waves to me
I was like, OMG I hate this thing
I hated interfering my really private life with my private life
But This friend had been good to me
Why not?
I said "ok...." in the end

I like this friend well as a friend
loving, caring, and just pleasant
emm, maybe a bit too much spices in the words sometimes :P
love is not my feeling at that time
it was too far to reach, i felt then
but i dare to try
and seeing the result
now
after three years
and i'm still with this friend
i guess, i can say i made the right decision
to try

we still fight like we used to do
we still cry when things get bad
we still laugh when things get better
but one thing changes
i have no more doubt that this friend is...
FOR ME

Just whatever that starts with an "R" and ends with an "e".... >_>

Now now now.... I just went back home for, like, only several days. And I dont talk much. I listen. Well, one of 'em is a story about a family of a bunch of dumb pigs, but I'd like to concentrate on 3 main members of the family.

Firstly, the mother pig. Let's just call her BIATCH

Second, guess what? The father pig! Call him a D*CKHEAD

Third, the son of the pigs. And, his name is... *SSFACE

There, there... They are a happeeeee family. Aww.... I felt like crying of happiness seeing them...
*pukes in the corner after saying that*

But, one day... ::(fake) sobs:: *SSFACE became crazy. It's like *POW* and

he turns into a mindless pig zombie minus the appetite for human

brains. He just, like, function-less. And guess? BIATCH and D*CKHEAD

dreaded things like that because *SSFACE supposed to work and bring them

filthy food in front of their big pigsty everyday. ::(fake) sigh.. awww poor

child....:: Therefore, the couple concentrated on other piglets, which are

normal and would do their pigsty chores faithfully, unlike *SSFACE who

would stared blankly into space every living minute he had.


Geez, a total spoiler, ain't it? LOL


Well, somehow, *SSFACE got the direction to one of his human

acquaintance house. How? Perhaps a voice whisper the direction to the

unfortunate house. *when a pig become crazy, THAT is a serious ailment,

oh-kay?* Back to the story, unable to reject him because of

manner, the owner and his family accepted him. They let him, guess? Eat

like a pig, sleep like a pig, and basically being a total douchebag in the

house for, like, a couple of months. Meanwhile, BIATCH and D*CKHEAD live

happily in their stinky pigsty, purposely playing deaf although they know

that their frigging son is messing up other people's lives. *what the hell?? i

don't give a damn if their family is falling off a cliff, i'd rather save a dog

than them, but puh-leeez, don't interfere with OUR lives, stinking pigs!*


Eventually, the owner of the kind house let *SSFACE live in another house.

Not being grateful, *SSFACE became worse. :: this suppose to teach that kindness doesnt necessarily replied with kindness :: He REALLY made

himself home. He even threatened the owner of the 'another house', which

ultimately forcing them to leave their own house. And, can you believe?

BIATCH and D*CKHEAD were roaring and roaring with red faces like b*tches

in heat.. In simpler words, they were angry because 'kind house' was now

abandoning their son. Geez, see? Ungrateful pigs. *I felt like screaming :

hello??? that's your child. taking care of him IS you f*cking responsibility,

not ours, F*CKERS!!!* *SSFACE then try to be a business-pig, making

business by his sh*tting skills; which turn his own sh*t into fertilizer for his

planted vegetables. ::YIKES!!:: He lived happily, while the 'kind house' and

the 'another house' suffer, until.... NOW.


Moral : Once a pig turns crazy, hand them over to slaughter house, and let

them make a bacon out of it. BEWARE OF MAGGOTS THOUGH. That's not a

good sign nor a pretty sight.

::Sigh::

::sigh::
something is so wrong
maybe it's me
maybe it's this
maybe it's that
but never you

get frigging ready
give your frigging energy
just frigging do this
just frigging do that
god i hate
this

i'm mad at everything
just because one thing
one fucking thing
that is fucking unimportant at all
fuck

there i said it

Mint's Guy List (1)

Last week, had just finished watching an old movie "American Beauty". I read the synopsis before and wasn't really hoping for anything, you know, mesmerizing. My intention of watching it is just because some article I found citing the movie as.... something I forgot. But I really wasn't expecting anything. Really. Except, well, maybe a proper and interesting story line, perhaps that's why the movie become some's favourite.

My, my, my.... how WRONG I was.

Because I write this under the title of Guy List, of course i found a new gem in the movie. XD Well, the term 'new' is only applicable to me, I think. I'm quite outdated when it comes to movies. X)

Well, it's Ben Westley acting as Ricky. He's lol, quite a psycho in this movie, a hot one nevertheless. His eyes are really enticing, he nearly beat the two guys on my top list for beautiful eyes! XD And his nonchalant attitude succeedingly fished out a long long "AWWWWW" from me, wishing if I can just be like him, despite the coward 'me' I had to have in daily basis. His hair is .... wait, I dont know what it is and I'm lazy to google it, but it seems like the cut that is given to military people. Whatever the name is. Well, that haircut suit him very well! I looooooove this guy, but now that he's older.... Let's just say that I looooooove him only at those time around the movie production. Hihihi.

This is him! XD

p/s: My policy of only liking young, hot man is only applicable for celebrities, and NOT to friends, relatives, and YOU my love =)

Harvest Season... AGAIN!!!!

thanks
to my
friend
i now
have the
HARVEST MOON
boy version!
YAY!!!

i intend to
have
relaxed
peaceful
life
and to
woo
(guess who?)
ANN!!!

XD

Gypsy

Broke my heart
Down the road
Spent the weekend
Sewing the pieces back on

Friends and thoughts pass me by
Walking gets too boring
When you learn how to fly

Not the homecoming kind
Take the top off
And who knows what you might find

Won't confess all my sins
You can bet I'll try it
But I can't always win


'Cause I'm a gypsy
Are you coming with me?
I might steal your clothes
And wear them if they fit me
I never made agreements
Just like a gypsy
And I won't back down
'Cause life's already bit me
And I won't cry
I'm too young to die
If you're gonna quit me
'Cause I'm a gypsy

I can't hide
what I've done
Scars remind me
Of just how far that I've come
To whom it may concern
Only run with scissors
When you want to get hurt


I said hey you
You're no fool
If you say 'NO'
Ain't it just the way life goes?
People fear what they don't know
Come along for the ride
Come along for the ride

Honey Homey Disturbed by Terrorists

when i'm home
i felt
this sense
of
relax
enjoy
peace
loved
oh, how i love being here

i love my parents
my siblings, err...
sometimes i hate 'em
(LOL)
but these are my families
and i love them
never-the-less

to those people
who are not
satisfied
with us
well guess what?
you can just
a) FUCK OFF
...or...
b) GO TO HELL
...maybe...
c) MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
...and...
d)LEAVE US ALONE
...better yet...
e) ALL OF ABOVE

we can live without you
it's not like
our life depend on you guys
eew..
talk about
PERASAN!

tee-hee-
:P