this makes me wanna go home even more

when he left

will he come back?

i don't know

when will mama be back here?

to protect us?

she's gone forever

will you protect me from his rage?

i will.

why would you bear so much pain for me?

you can just run

and leave me

 

because you're my little brother

and i will look after you forever

the one i love the most

the one i love the most

was neither daddy nor mummy

was neither bobby nor sandy

but among us, she is the littlest

the one i love the most

well, you can say my love is unwelcomed

little time she would talk to me, the rest frowned

and that was nothing that i can boast

the one i love the most

stared blankly when i left for summer camp

i maybe mistaken but her cheeks looked damp

 nonetheless, i went there, thoroughly abused

the one i love the most

when i get home after a century of absence

jump at me with in her blue pools the happiest glance

mummy said the whole time i was badly missed

the one i love the most

smiled as her face stuck onto my chest

this moment was one i love the best

knowing his little sister also love him 'est among the rest

 

when he was a little boy...

a bubbly lad of six

of no worries

of no burden

he likes to wander alone

anticipating trifles of nature

which evening will it rain?

when will the tree bear fruits?

and he'd bring with him a stack of papers

carefully wrapped in plastic

just in case

and he'd sit so high on the building

 where, it doesn't matter

when, he doesn't care

how, only he knew

and he's carefully write words

beautiful words he heard

from mother to father

from sister to brother

from natasha to him

onto the pieces of papers

with them, he crafted airplanes

though with no engines

they flew so high

though with no use

they made the day more beautiful to some

my life began when....

they have many says

but, for me



my life began when

her soft lips touched my head

when her warmth of eternal love

transferred to me

as soon as

she caught the first sight of me

a frail creature, crying

in the arms of nice strangers



her love, and his love

made me alive

Unspoken Love

when we sat here together
under the maple tree
leaves beneath our feet
clouds above our head

i would look at you
as you chirped happily
and i noticed little things
about you
the deepening wrinkles around your eyes
the whitening strands of your once pitch black hair
the eyes, seasoned, yet fresher than they've ever been

how i appreciate your existence
your strict streak
your annoying kindness
your surprising logic
did not chang after all your past years

i'd very much like to spell
my affection, frequently
but i wasn't taught so
but i wasn't designed to
openly open up myself

so

i stayed there listening, hoping
you would know from my gaze,
or my smiling face
just how much i love you,
dear mama

Awww..... T_T

Pencil: I’m sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.

Pencil: I’m sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you’re always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That’s true. But I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I’ll be gone and you’ll replace me with a new one, I’m actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.

Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil.

They’re always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes.

Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on.

Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

All my life, I’ve been the pencil.

And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day.

For I know that one day, all that I’m left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

When I Was

a teenager

summer life was easy

taking jobs at fast food chains

holding parties at parentless houses

playing on the beach with pals

studying a bit for oncoming school term

like quite a nerd i was

but still,

summer was my beloved season of all

the warm sunlight was refreshing

the natural tan was enlightening

the hot guys wandering around were exciting



now, i have grown up

and my summers are spent

redecorating the house after winter

worrying over my teenage children

helping my lover finishing his dream patio

trying all summer dishes in the television

but still

as hectic as my life is now in summer

i'm happy

i'm contented

i'm relaxed

just as i was in my teenage years



summer was

and still is

my favourite season of all

Going Back to Home

everytime i step onto the home lawn

the first thing i expected is

your boyish grin

your crumpled shirt

on your lean body

a warm hug

and nothing else from you


growing distance never seem to

keep us apart

how ironic

in few the times i get to see you

i grew closer to you

what do i expect?

you're my only relative

my dear little brother


you insist to stay in the countryside

and you bring me into its exciting world

every time i was there


waiting for anything to caught the bait

i cant help but stare at you

and think about the others

who left us here

the little boy who cry in my embrace

during the massive funeral

has grown up into a strong man

stronger than me even

no longer i have to pull

and pick the fish for him

he did it for me


my handsome little brother has grown up

but can i still protect him like the big sister

i used to be?

Of Boredom and Funny Creativity

thank god you're here

the calligraphy class nearly killed me

of excessive boredom

aa, why are you here?

no idea why i'm here either

anyway, the teacher's gone

something's wrong with his stomach

perhaps the soup he ate just now is spoiled

mom asked me to throw the soup away

or give it to him today?

we two have no idea, so

let me make your face a bit different

you know, to surprise dad

he's coming home today

so let's have some fun
while we have the chance

Of Strawberry Lollipop and Love

i love
my strawberry lollipop

i still remember
the first day i had them
given by daddy
i was so addicted
i made him promise
that he would buy me
one every weekend
more frequent and
mum would frown our way

and now
i still love
to suckle on the crystallized sugar
to savour the sweetness
to drown in its overwhelming taste

i dont know why my friend
resent me doing that
what, eating sweet is impolite now?
they would snicker
they would whisper
i hate being the centre of negative attention

so
i hide my habit
continuing it in home
as i watch TV alone
or leaning onto daddy's strong shoulders
as i am chatting on my mac
while listening to daddy's nagging
about my messy room

at times he would look my way
"don't you ever get bored of that?"
i asked him back
"don't you ever get bored of me?"
he would laugh
and gently brought me into his manly hug
"no, not ever"

Parenthood Effect

watching parenthood

can really make me cry

at times

especially

when it touch the issue

of

father

why would a father

sacrifice so much

for someone

he did not even give birth

like a mother

do?

the connection

if you don’t feel it now,

it’ll come later

it was the sweet

peter krause

that gave the answer

and i feel touched

i dont know

it just came to me

that fathers

can just ignore us

because they dont have

the connection to children

like mothers do

but some

like mine

choose not to

ignore his child

and for that

i love him

very very dearly

another scene that

made me

all in tears

was when a girl

had this

conversation

with her mother

apparently

she had a lover

but she hide him from them

not wanting her life be exposed

to those annoying figures

she complained

to her mother

about

the overreacted father

and she asked

“how angry is dad?”

and the mother said

“honey, i think

he’s more scared than

anything

just afraid of..."

"of what?"

the girl asked

and the mother said

"losing you”

while he was listening

all along

i hear that words again

and my dam broke again

those damned tears...

i really wanna let my father know

that my love is unconditional

that i wont leave him

whether i’m married

whether i’m single

whether i’m rich

whether i’m broke

or whatever shit i’ve let myself into

i’ll still love him

and would never have him

out of my mind

ever

i love you, pa

eventhough most probably

you wont read this